-1-

[twoton21]

So I know I overreacted the night before. I was a little pissed off and everything, but then I guess dying probably kinda does that for some people. Anyway, does that floating disembodied voice guy always leave right in the middle of a conversation? What a douche.

Anyway -- thanks to everybody that tried to be helpful. But seeing as how this room is pretty much my room exactly (which is kind of creepy, by the way -- nobody but me should know some of the minute details), there's really not much settling in I have to do. And while I don't really think I'm up for all this "redemption" stuff, I haven't got much better to do while I'm here besides at least have a look, right?

So...sorry for freaking out at some of you. You'll see me around.

Call me 21.

[Private]

Having read through the journals and taken a peek around, I've come to settle on three possible explanations for my current predicament:

1. Monstroso has secretly developed hallucination-inducing powers...maybe kind of like those demons in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Only I don't know why I'd be dreaming of this and -- I don't know, what my life would have been like if I stayed home through my teen years.
2. In the ensuing and EPIC battle between Monstroso, Brock Samson, and myself, I sustained massive head trauma and am now lying in a coma somewhere -- perhaps in a hospital, perhaps back at the cocoon, or perhaps even in some secret guild lab under Monstroso's office building. This would explain why there is at least one familiar place, my room. Therefore, all the people here that I seem to be recognizing from television and comics are clearly just figments of my imagination, my collective pop culture knowledge rising up as one to shield me from the worst damages to my brain. ...And how fucking cool is that? (I think there was a TV show like that a while back -- didn't last long. It was probably crappy. I dunno.)
3. Everything these people have told me about this place is true. I'm dead. And apparently in some strange nexus where anything and anyone I've ever fantasized as real really is real.

The first two options would definitely explain why I can't contact 24 anymore -- and it confirms he really was haunting me either way. If he were in my head, and all this were in my head, he'd be here now.

The third I'm still not so sure of. But just in case it is true, I need to be careful how I talk to some people. After all, if I say the wrong thing to one of them and they go home, how horribly am I going to mess up their time line?

I could unmake fandom as I know it.

Uncle Ben was right. Great power? Great responsibility.

Comments

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

Well I'm pretty sure most things here are kinda Earth-based, and it's the same for me. I'm a professional henchman and personal bodyguard to The Mighty Monarch.

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

The Mighty Monarch. Ohhh-kay. So he's really into the divine right of kings, or he's got some kinda...butterfly gimmick?

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

Both, actually. But it's not even about the gimmick. He's one of the only guys in the biz who does it legit. He doesn't let the paperwork decide who he's going to professionally hate. He's got the grudge and he's got balls. Absolutely an inspiration working for him.

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

...'doesn't let the paperwork decide'?

You're gonna have to run that one by me again.

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

It probably doesn't work the same everywhere. I know it doesn't in comics where I come from, so okay.

Basically, you've got a few major alliances that deal in arch-villainy, and then your small percentage of freelance workers. The big dog in that crowd, though, is the Guild of Calamitous Intent. It's the oldest and probably the most organized. If you're with the guild, you have your equipment and henchmen insured, your properties sanctioned, and you have almost complete immunity from meddling from the police or the government if you play by the rules. Totally legit stuff.

thread jacking because he couldn't resist.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

...that sounds like the sort of thing the Patrician would approve of.

So are you a Guild member or not? Excuse my curiosity, it just sounds more like my world than anything else I've heard of here.

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's a Patrician where I come from. Not anybody officially called that.

Maybe on one of the other rosters, but it doesn't sound like a Guild member.

And I'm a licensed Henchman.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

As far as I'm aware, only Ankh-Morpork has one. I don't know about the Roundworld.

Good, good to know you're licenced.

His first scribbly attempt to not meta a book series he knows :|

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

OHMIGOD You're a Discworld chara

Well yeah. Couldn't work if I wasn't.

hix'd wave off being fourth walled like it was nothing. weirder stuff happens every hour for him.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

Clearly not, it'd be illegal. Do you have guilds for other things in your world? Theives, Assassins, Alchemists?

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

You've still got those things, but I dunno if they've got guilds.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

...It'd be much more ordered if they did, I'm sure.

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

I don't even know if there's enough of 'em to put them in order.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

Surely every world has its share of theives, at least? The Assasins and Alchemists, I'll grant you, might be slightly more native to my city, but still.

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

...

Okay, not that I don't see the huge and obvious upsides to this system, but does it not kinda take the edge off of being a villain if it's basically legal?

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

That's why the Monarch's different. He's in for the insurance and dental, but he's been arching his enemy since college. He genuinely hates and isn't just assigned to hate somebody.

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Huh. That whole arrangement just sounds...weird, but good on your guy for keeping it real. I guess.

I'm Shego, by the way.

Why NO, he's never watched Kim Possible in his life >.> Or written fanfiction.

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

Pleased to meet you, Shego.

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

You too.

Has someone else done Floods, Ports & Other Barge Hellishness 101? Because it is not stuff you wanna learn by doing.

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

Floods, yes. Everything else, no.

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Okay. The Barge stops sometimes - every couple months or so, I guess. Mileage varies. Last time, we stopped in New York just before Christmas and it was all totally, disarmingly normal. The time before that we hit a deserted island where pretty much anything you ate, drank or touched either screwed you up or made you sick.

People disappear sometimes. Wardens and Inmates. When they come back - if they come back - they may or may not remember ever having been here before.

If you get killed, again, it doesn't stick. Your Warden has to put in a request to the Admiral - which is just so wrong - but you get revived at the cost of being bedridden for a few days and sick for about a week.

Most of the Inmates and some of the Wardens are suffering from varying degrees of 'total whackjob crazy' but you could work that out for yourself.

There's probably other stuff. It's been a quiet couple weeks.

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

Yeah -- I know some of the people here don't have their stuff together. But it's still really cool that they're here

So you said the last stop was around Christmas. Can you tell me about how long ago that was?

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. That was last month. According to the totally arbitrary Barge calendar it's January 30th right now. Saturday.

[twoton21.livejournal.com]

Damn.

That means I missed the release of Mass Effect 2

So there's likely to be another one anytime, right?

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

I really seriously hope so.

Maybe. Feels like it might be a little bit longer. I mean, don't quote me on any of this? I don't think I've been here long enough to pick out an actual pattern or anything - I've been here five months, and there's been....four or five floods, two ports and an attempted Borg takeover.